What To Do When You’re Wondering “What Am I Doing With My Life?”
I just wrapped a quarterly LifePlan renewal session with a client who started her journey with me earlier this year. She’s doing beautifully — she’s in the midst of making some major shifts in her career, is setting better boundaries with her family and her time, and she’s starting to feel like herself “but better” (as she describes) again.
But let me take you back to where she was when she first reached out, because, as she said on that first call:
“It was that last Christmas card that did me in.”
The Wake-Up Text
“Lori” (name changed to protect client privacy) was sitting in her car waiting for her daughter to come out of Target when her phone beeped. It was a message from Jenna, an old colleague turned holiday-text kind of friend. Jenna had sent over her family’s digital Christmas card.
It was December 26. Lori smiled.
Until she didn’t.
Jenna’s card was a highlight reel: her family was thriving, the kids were either launched or launching, Jenna’s work sounded fulfilling, and travel plans were already booked for the new year.
Lori felt her stomach drop.
“What am I doing with my life?” she asked out loud in that Target parking lot.
It wasn’t about envy. It wasn’t about Jenna. And it didn’t come from a place of trying to keep up with the proverbial Joneses.
It was about the deep knowing that something in her life needed to change.
When High-Functioning Isn't the Same as Thriving
Lori is a vice president. Competent, respected, good at what she did. But here’s what no one saw from the outside:
She no longer trusted the leaders she reported to.
Her relationships felt transactional, not tender.
Her day-to-day was more survival than spark.
She kept hoping it would get better. She kept telling herself, “This is just a season…” She kept hoping that she’d soon be back to her happier, chippier self.
But that holiday card — one small text on one random December day — shook her out of denying the reality of her current life. It woke her up to the fact that she '“for damn sure” didn’t want to be in the same place a year from now. She wanted to stop tolerating what no longer served or fulfilled her and start living.
That’s when she called me and said:
“I don’t know exactly what I need. But it’s time to figure out my life.”
She was right. And she was ready.
The Turning Point: From Confused to Clear
We began her LifePlan in January.
She showed up ready to sort through her restlessness, rethink her career path, and reclaim her personal life — on her terms.
Over our two-day private retreat, we mapped out:
Her core purpose and unique wiring
What gives her energy — and what drains her dry
How to reorient her calendar, commitments, and relationships around what matters most
A path forward for work, family, community, and most importantly, herself
That was the beginning.
Fast forward to this month; at her quarterly renewal, Lori showed up with a glow. She's made tangible progress in most of the areas she named back then. Not perfect, but anchored. Not magically fixed, but finally in motion.
And she said something that stuck with me:
“It all started when I stopped ignoring the question I didn’t want to ask yet alone answer.”
If You’re Asking the Same Question
If you're reading this and quietly whispering, “What am I doing with my life?” — here are 3 things you can do right now, on your own, to get start getting clarity:
1. Finish the Sentence: “If I’m honest, I’ve been tolerating…”
Set a timer for 10 minutes and write them out. Don’t censor yourself. Just name the things you’ve been chocking down.
2. Revisit a Peak Moment
Think of a time when you felt most alive. What were you doing? Who were you with? What values were being honored? That memory holds clues. Write those nuggets down as well.
3. Interrupt the "Should" Spiral
When you hear yourself say “I should stay,” “I should be grateful,” or “I should have it all figured out,” pause and ask: Is this true…or just familiar? Know that beating yourself up is rarely helpful. Neither is holding yourself to perfection or wishing your life was ‘perfect.’
When You’re Ready to Go Deeper
If you’re asking the hard questions and want more than a journal entry…if you’re ready for real clarity, honest reflection, and a workable roadmap…
LifePlan might be the next right step for you.
It’s a private, guided experience designed to help you understand who you are, what you’re called to do, and how to live and lead with more intention. We look at your whole life — personal fulfillment, family, career, and community, in that specific order! — and help you align all the pieces in a way that makes sense for you.
“LifePlan didn’t just give me clarity,” Lori said. “It gave me validation for what I was feeling and helped me create a vision and roadmap for what I really want for my future.”
I’ve opened up a few LifePlan retreats this summer, and would be honored to come alongside you. Let’s connect.
Whether you’re standing at a crossroads, or just quietly thinking “this isn’t it” —
You don’t have to figure it all out alone.
Let’s chart a new course together.